Archive for February, 2010
Making Your Own Rules (my first video blog!)
Posted by: | CommentsToday I want to continue the conversation about rules.
I decided that I would play around with my IMovie software and make a video for you.
This is what I came up with. I hope that you enjoy it.
( The date for the class mentioned in this video has been changed to March 4th at 12:30-1:30 PM EST get more info. about it here )
Rules….Do You Need Them?
Posted by: | CommentsRules……just hearing that word makes me bristle a bit.
It brings up feeling of being controlled, and constrained.
Rules often make me want to rebel!
Growing up I could not stand someone else telling me what I
could and could not do.
Why do I need to go to bed at 8 if I am not tired?
Why can’t I eat a cupcake before dinner?
Why do I have to go to school when I don’t want to?
Rules seemed to be a big infringement on my personal freedom.
After all, I know what is best for me and I wanted the freedom to
choose for myself.
Are rules necessary?
You bet.
Rules are necessary to set up structure.
Rules keep things in order, especially when there are lots of
different kinds of people living in the same space.
It would be chaos without them. Each society creates its own
rules around how to live and interact with others.
We create laws in order to keep everyone safe. We all“AGREE”to them
for the most part and abiding by them is part of choosing to live in
the good ol’ USA. (Although, I do feel that some laws are crap and have
nothing to do with our safety but that is another topic .)
And then we have the unwritten rules that govern how we each are
supposed to behave and interact with each other.
These are the tricky one’s.
I am not sure who agreed to them and when they were discussed.
No one asked me, but I on some level, I am expected to abide by them.
Do we need these “unwritten and implied” rules?
I feel that these rules are meant to be questioned so that we
each can determine which ones work for us and which ones don’t.
An example of this might be “ Be polite to strangers”.
In lots of cases this is a good rule to live by, but what if a stranger
gropes on the subway? Are you supposed to be polite then?
Then you can have your own rules about how YOU live your life.
These rules are all about what you allow and the structure that you
have set up for yourself in order to ensure that you are happy,
nurtured, and successful. These are the rules that I am most curious about.
Do you think you need them?
Where the Juicy Goodness Can Be Found
Posted by: | CommentsThe surest way to bring more juicy goodness into your life is
by deepening your own relationship with YOU.
This is the most important connection that you can create.
Otherwise, how do you know what brings you happiness, meaning
and success?
This is trickier than it may sound for many people, especially the
freaky folks.
We live in a society where there are lots of expectations and
pre-packaged beliefs around how we are ‘supposed’ to live, and
who we are ‘supposed’ to be in this world.
When you do not fit into that mold,it is easy to feel like there
is something wrong with you, and you begin to feel unworthy,
undeserving, resentful, and a whole lot of other emotions that
feels yucky.
It is really easy to start making yourself wrong for being different.
The worst part is that you tend to settle for whatever comes your
way because you think that you can’t have anything else.
You are so busy trying to be something that you are not,
there is no space to ask yourself :
“What would feel good to me?”
or
“What works in MY life?”.
These questions are the key to bringing in more Juicy Goodness.
I know this sounds simple, and it is on one level,
but I also recognize that it can be very difficult to do.
So many people never learned how to ask themselves these
questions on a regular basis.
When we are young we set our
course for who think we are supposed to be in the world.
This course is not necessarily based on who we are, but rather
who we think we should be.
So we spend our time trying to force ourselves in to a life that
does not fit, rather than exploring and discovering who we really are,
and what feels good to us. We end up in jobs that are dull,
and meaningless, in relationships that feel crappy,
and generally feeling unsatisfied.
In order to make ourselves feel better, we shop, eat,
have sex with the wrong people, read self help books,
and usually blame everyone else for our misery.
We spend our time looking outside ourselves for the solution,
when it is right there inside of us waiting to be discovered.
You are the only one who knows what is right for you.
The key is being committed to deepening your relationship with yourself.
How do you do that?
Make a commitment to knowing yourself better.
Get in the habit of asking yourself some of these key questions:
“What makes ME happy?
“What already works for me and feels good in my life?”
“What do I enjoy doing?”
“What do I want from _________________?”
( my career, relationship, health, sexuality, or any given situation)
“How do I want to feel when I _______________?”
(Am at work, in relationship, walk down the street, anything that you do)
“What would feel good to me right now?”
If you really want to get intimate with yourself, whenever something
or someone is bothering you and making you feel upset, irritated or
generally uncomfortable, ask yourself:
“What about this is making me feel uncomfortable?”.
Listen to the answers and go out and use that information to create a
life that is designed to suit your unique style.
Surround yourself with the people and things that support your happiness.
Nurture the relationship with yourself as if you were your favorite lover.
Give yourself everything you need to be happy and feel great.
You will be surprised at how easy it becomes once you get in the habit
of asking yourself what you need.
As an extra bonus you will discover
that all the people around you will benefit from your happiness.
Soon enough you will all be surrounded by all the Juicy Goodness
that life has to offer.
Does this sound doable to you?
Hey you….Child of the Universe…this is for you….
Posted by: | CommentsI found this very inspiring today.
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle wit yourself. You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And weather or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should,”
~ Max Ehrmann
I wonder if there is any places where you might be gentler with yourself on your journey and perhaps allow yourself, and the universe, a bit more time to create what you desire ?
Self doubt and being different
Posted by: | CommentsI have been thinking a lot about being different and the problems that come with it. Let’s face it, when you go against the mainstream you constantly have to deal with people telling you things like:
What are you, crazy or something?
You can’t do that!
Who do you think you are???
You will be a laughing stock if you do that !
There is no support from the people around you. They just don’t get it and it seems risky to them.
It is really easy to begin to doubt yourself because you are coming up against so much negativity and resistance. In many cases it is easier to make yourself wrong than go against what everyone else thinks. So, you give up your “crazy” idea and jump back into the stream of mediocrity.
The problem is that does not last very long…you may still doubt yourself, but there is no denying that you crave something different and you won’t satisfied until you find it.
So how do you overcome the self doubt?
How do you learn to trust yourself even when everyone else thinks you are crazy?
This is where learning to tune into your intuition comes in handy. We all know what’s right for ourselves deep down inside. You just need to learn how to listen, and trust it over what someone else says to you.
This is the challenge. Learning to trust yourself and what you know to be true for you over what everyone else around you is saying.
The reality is that you are unique and having a unique experience. No one else knows what it’s like to be you. (Even if they think they do). You are the only one who knows where your happiness and satisfaction can be found.
I am wondering if you know how you access your intuition?
