Archive for April, 2010
Is It Really Worth It?????
Posted by: | CommentsThe topic of struggle and pushing through has been coming up again and again recently. This is what some of you are saying:
“I know…they say that mercury is retrograde….but come on! Does it really have to be this difficult?”
“I am on the verge of giving up my dream because I am so sick of wasting my vital life energy when I keep coming up against road block after road block. Is following my dream really worth it?”
Listen closely to this:
“YES IT IS!”
It is so worth it to go after your kick-ass dream life!
Your dreams and desires are leading you to your own unique higher purpose. They feel good to think about for a reason! They are in alignment with who you really are and what will bring you the most happiness, satisfaction, and meaning into your life. Your dreams are where the juicy goodness lives.
I am not going to sit here and tell you that going for your dream is easy, because it is not. There is definitely some work involved on your part, but it does not have to be a struggle or suck all your vital life energy.
This is the thing you need to realize: These blocks and obstacles are lessons that you need to learn in order to clear away all the old “baggage” that is not in alignment with your new kick-ass life. They are an indication that it is time to step back and look within, decide what would be better, or to try a new approach. You are going to make mistakes! Maybe even big mistakes! It is not the end of the world. The better you get at tuning in and noticing how something is feeling and working for you, the sooner you can adjust your course. Then get right back to it and try something new until you discover what works for you!
If you find yourself struggling or feeling your energy drained, it is most likely because you are resisting the lesson, or trying to force your way through the obstacle. I know that this can be confusing, and frustrating! It is all about looking inside and taking ownership of your experience and treating every challenge as an opportunity for growth.
I know that from personal experience this can be difficult to do on your own. I want you to know that I am here to help you with this if you will let me. Signing up for this free webcast that is a great place to start!
Here is How You Can Kick-Fears Ass!
Posted by: | CommentsIn my last post I talked about fear and came to this conclusion:
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
As promised, this time I am going to share my 3 step process for kicking fear to the curb so that you can get on with creating and enjoying your kick-ass life.
So how do you kick fears ass and move it out of your way?
You follow these three steps:
Acknowledge, Explore, and Replace with thoughts about what you are wanting to create.
1. Acknowledge the Fear: Shine the light of awareness on it and don’t let it lurk about in the dark.
Fear can be tricky and likes to lurk around behind other feelings.
Don’t let it pretend to be something else like:
- confusion
- the voice of reason
- I don’t know what to do
- excuses
- self-doubt
- anxiety
- jealousy
- resistance
- nervousness
- worry
- anger
- cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
- procrastination
By shining the light of awareness on it you are making it conscious and you take some power away from it.
2. Explore it and get to know what it is all about.
Do some self inquiry to get clear on what you are really afraid of. You need to know what you are dealing with. This helps you determine how to set yourself up for success and support yourself in moving through it.
Are any of these “itis” coming into play: (via Abraham-Hicks)
- “What-if-itis. Worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
- “What-is-itis”. Fearing things in your currently reality.
- “Perfectionistic-itis”. Trying to make everything perfect.
- “Analysis-paralisis-itis“. Spending so much time thinking everything through that you don’t take risks. Spending all your time planning ahead for problems that might occur.
Once you are armed with this information, do what you can to resolve any issues, and set yourself up for success.
3. Replace it with thoughts about what you really want.
Choose to focus on how it will feel to be living your kick-ass life. By doing this you are shifting your attention and energy towards what you do want, rather than focusing on your fear. Keep your eye on the prize. When you see all juicy goodness that you are headed for, the fear does not seem so powerful.
Still have questions? Ask away!
I am here to help.
Fear is Soooooo Tricky……..
Posted by: | CommentsToday on Defy the Box Radio I talked about fear.
Strangely enough, I was fearful about doing the show…which is very unusual for me.
But this was the first time with the new show format and I was doing things in more of a questions and answer kind of way, with a bit of “spotlight” coaching thrown in. I was on my own with no co-host or guest to interview, and I was nervous about talking to myself and having to fill up all the space. It felt awkward and I was certainly having a hard time getting into my flow. Things shifted once I opened up the line and did some coaching……that feels so natural to me and I am in my flow when I am doing it.
I do think I am going to continue my quest to find a co-host if you think your might know someone.That will certainly help make it more fun for me……which usually translates to more fun for everyone. 
But I am rambling here…..lets get back to the topic of fear.
Fear is one of the main reasons that people hire me. They want to make some big changes in their lives and they are afraid to do it.
Fear is tricky…it shows up in all kinds of disguises.
Anxiety
Nervousness
Worry
Self-doubt
Resistance
Anger
Confusion
Jealousy
Excuses
Cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
Procrastination
Today fear showed up disguised as nervousness and confusion for me.
I was edgy, uncomfortable and my mind was feeling pretty blank. I admit it sucked, but I got through it.
So what is our fear trying to tell us…or do for us?
Seth Godin does an amazing job of breaking this all down in his book Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? . ( I highly suggest reading it.) I am going to give you the condensed version here.
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
Your fear response is one of the oldest parts of you. It comes from the part of your brain referred to as the “Lizard Brain”. It’s original purpose was to help you survive. Its goal is to keep you small and hidden so that you blend in and don’t get eaten! Your fear wants’ you to be part of the pack because you are more likely to survive. It is just trying to keep you alive!
But the reality is that we don’t need to worry about getting eaten anymore.
Funny how the idea of standing out from the crowd and being really seen in our full unique glory can inspire fear in the best of us. (It’s the Lizard Brain just doing its job.)
The cool thing is that humans have evolved to the point where we can focus our attention on creativity and living a meaningful life. We have more ability to focus on our own expansion.
I suspect that if you are reading this, you are focused on YOUR own expansion.
So now that we know what fear is…….what do you do about it?
I have an awesome 3 step process for kicking fear’s ass that I will share with you next time……..
How Do You Go About Creating Change in Your Life?
Posted by: | CommentsAs you may already know, I am in the business of Transformation.
Lately, I have been very curious to learn about how you go about creating change in your life.
this morning I made this video for you……
How much is a happy and meaningful life worth to you?
Posted by: | CommentsI am curious to learn how much your happiness is worth to you?
How much time and effort would you spend in order to bring more meaning into your life?
I think that these are important questions to ponder.
When I look around, I see that many people are spending lots of money on things that they feel will make life meaningful and them happy, and it might work for a brief time. We do live in a consumer society. Everyday we are bombarded with messages that tell us that we need this kind of car to be successful, those jeans to look cool, and a million other “things” that will make our lives complete. We are well programmed to fall into line and buy stuff.
Right now, with money being tight for many, it seems that there is a general longing for all these “things” that you can’t afford right now. The fact that you feel this way makes you scared, depressed, and uncertain.
“How will I ever be happy and fulfilled again if I have no money?”
I assure you, money does not buy happiness, or a meaningful life!
You know what does guarantee a happy and meaningful life?
Your relationship with yourself and being tapped into the things that are in alignment with who you are. Happiness and meaning is totally an inside job. You can’t buy it, or find it outside of yourself.
I will let you in on a secret. I used to be a huge consumer! I spent money like it was going out of style. I was working in a high-end restaurant, making lots of cash, and spending just as much, all in order to feel good and be happy. The reality was that I was not in the right job for me……..nor the right work environment. I was stressed out, frustrated and pretty bitchy most of the time. I went out for drinks most nights in order to feel good and decompress. I needed a lot of “stuff” and was always shopping because it was fun and made me feel good while I did it. I was always searching for something else to make me feel good and I spent lots of money in my pursuit of it. It was not the healthiest way to be living for a lot of reasons.
Then a series of things happened and I decided to do some soul searching and change my life. I made the choice to invest in myself rather than a bunch of “stuff”. It was a stretch, and felt pretty scary. I was definitely pushing myself out past my comfort zone.
But a very interesting thing happened.
As I began to invest in my own personal development, and doing the work, and learning about myself, I stop needing to consume so much. I would go to Target and not see one thing that I “had” to have. I did not “need” to go out for drink and dinner to de-stress. I changed jobs and actually made less money , but I was spending a lot less money, and my quality of life was much higher.
That’s what happens when you deepen your relationship with yourself and come into alignment with who you are. The meaning and happiness comes from inside of you, not buying things.
Lately, I have been talking to lots of people who say they want to change their lives. They want meaningful work, and more happiness. But they are hesitant to invest in that process. It is like meaningful work and happiness is a luxury item. They can’t justify the investment in themselves.
So I ask you again:
How much is a happy and meaningful life worth to you?
