Archive for July, 2010
The Power of Asking What and Why
Posted by: | CommentsI love this thought from Abraham-Hicks
When you talk about what you want and why you want it, there’s usually less resistance within you than when you talk about what you want and how you’re going to get it. When you pose questions you don’t have answers for, like how, where, when, who, it sets up a contradictory vibration that slows everything down.
— Abraham
Can you notice the difference in how it feels when you think about the WHAT and the WHY of your dream vs. when you think about the details of how it is going to happen?
Try it out and see what you notice.
Share what you discover below in the comments.
I think we have it backwards…..
Posted by: | CommentsWhat if creating your kick-ass dream life is more about how you want to feel in your life than the things that you want to have?
When I talk to people about their kick-ass dream life, they tend to go right into describing what it will look like to them and all the things that are in it. They tell me about the cool career that they will have, and the awesome house and all the things that they will do. Once they have all these things THEN their life will feel totally kick-ass!
I think that this approach is backwards. It is extremely limiting and gives way too much power to the material things in your life.
If you are honest with yourself, the reason why you want these things; be it a job, house, or car, is because you think that you will feel a certain way once you have it.
And it might be true that all those things will make your life kick-ass, but I imagine that there are all kinds of things yet to be discovered that would work for you too.
What if you started off with being really clear on how you want to feel in your life, and create from there?
If you commit to looking for the things in your life that feel really good to you, then you can more easily build your kick-ass life around you.
I find that when you are tapped into how you want to feel, and you look for the things that allow you to feel that way, the possibilities expand and it becomes much easier to start living your kick-ass life right now.
What does your kick-ass dream life feel like to you?
But it is Scary in There! (The challenges of going within)
Posted by: | CommentsI am curious, do you ever create space in your day to just sit quietly and connect to your inner self?
Yesterday we were discussing the importance of going within on Defy the Box radio with Dr. Jennifer Howard, and it reminded me just how difficult this used to be for me.
Back in the day, I was scared to death of listening to what my inner–self had to say. I always kept myself busy. I avoided any situations where I would have nothing to do and be stuck sitting there alone with my thoughts.
If I was home alone, I would have the TV on or music playing while I was using my computer, or talking on the phone. I would watch TV until I would fall asleep. I hated lying awake in bed with my thoughts swirling around.
My inner-self had all kinds of things to say that I did not want to hear!
In my head I would be looking back at the day and analyzing every interaction that I had, and all the things I did. I thought about all the things I did not like and wanted to be different. I had a long list of things that were not working for me.
I felt trapped in my life, and did not think that I had many options. Thinking about it made me uncomfortable and anxious. I did not know exactly what I wanted or how to make the change.
I just knew that I wanted more.
This desire to do more with my life was not something that would sit quietly! It showed up in all my frustration, anxiety and disappointment. Nothing satisfied me, and my life suffered as a result.
And then a funny thing happened.
The Universe forced me to sit still for a while. I broke my foot and severely sprained my ankle. I had six weeks of doing nothing. I could only watch so much TV, and finally I was prompted to read a book that had been on my shelf for a long time. It was the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book got me to slow down and take a look inside of my own head.
I let go of all my bus-i-ness for a while and began to create some places for stillness in my life.
At first it was scary. There was so much anger and frustration inside of me; it was hard to get past it.
Eventually I did.
I was able to connect with the part of me that wanted more meaning in my life. The more I created the quiet space to sit down and listen to that voice, the clearer my path became.
Sometimes I find myself still avoiding the quiet places, and I ask myself what are you avoiding hearing right now?
There is always an answer for me if I sit down and listen.
The Price of Impatience
Posted by: | CommentsI thought it was a good idea at the time.
I was so excited to make things happen and create some big changes so that I could make a giant leap forward and step more firmly into my kick-ass dream life.
What I didn’t consider was that the three programs I signed up for to help me do just that were all going on at the same time.
I realized that I had made myself crazy busy and I started to spiral into overwhelm.
I have put myself into full time SUMMER SCHOOL!
What was I thinking?
I can tell you what I was thinking: I want my kick-ass dream life to show up RIGHT NOW !
I was getting impatient and feeling like things were not happening fast enough.
How many of you can relate to that ?
So, I decided to take some action that I felt would rocket me forward.
The problem is that I didn’t take the time to create a structure to support me in doing this. I did not step back and imagine what it would be like to be in these programs, and the time commitment and the workload. I didn’t focus on the outcome that I was looking for and create space for it to happen. I didn’t clear away the things in my life that were not in alignment with my stepping up in this big new way.
I didn’t set myself up for success in anyway and now I am paying the price.
Overwhelm!
Funny, Abraham-Hicks sent out a quote the other day that fits perfectly.
“Overwhelment is about you not being up to speed with what you told the Universe that you want. The Universe is yielding to you. You’re just not ready to receive it right now.”
These words ring true for me. I was not ready to receive what I had asked for.
I ask myself: “What needs to be released, or brought in to support you in stepping into your dream?”
One thing that needs to be brought in is a newly defined commitment to do this work, and to make it my #1 priority.
The next thing I did was re-evaluate how I was spending my time and decide if there were any things that are not serving me. There are a few groups and projects that I have decided to let go of because they are not really going anywhere. I also had to redefine my relationship with Plants vs. Zombies, (Sorry guys…I will only be coming around every now and then.) and my TV.
I did make the commitment to keep some space for fun, and not to burn myself out working 12 hour days. That just does not feel good and is so NOT part of my kick-ass dream life!
So we will see what happens.
The Overwhelm has left the building and I am beginning to feel the juicy goodness of everything expanding around me.
Oh yeah… that feels nice!
The Top 5 Obstacles to Creating your Kick-Ass Dream Life
Posted by: | Comments1. Distractions
Distractions come in many forms; the internet, email, paying bills, family, getting caught up in peoples stuff, and even money issues. I get distracted by the birds out the window.
I find that the best way to avoid this is to spend some time everyday connecting to your vision for your kick-ass dream life. This can be the simple practice of imagining what it will be like to live it, and basking in the how good it feels. You could look at your vision board, or write out what a typical day in your dream life will be like. Doing this keeps you focused on what you want to create.
The more connected to your dream you are, the easier it is to stay on track. Your connection acts like a beacon that draws you towards it. Connecting to your dream everyday helps you avoid distractions, keeps your eye on the prize, and keeps you tapped into the outcome you are wanting.
2. Lack of Faith & not Trusting Yourself
(Ok…this could be considered to be two separate things, but I am going to lump them together anyway)
This shows up as self doubt, stressing that it won’t happen and not trusting yourself.
You need to believe that you can have your dream in order to create it. When you start doubting yourself, your ability to create your dream goes out the window. Your faith will make it easier to navigate the sticky place where things seem to be at a standstill, and you are feeling like it is never going to happen.
I feel like faith is intermingled with trusting yourself to be able to create your dream. Trust that you know what is right and your own advice is better than anyone else’s.
Stand firm in your belief that you can create it and have it, and that you deserve it!
3. Not having the proper support structures in place
This shows up in so many ways: overwhelm, old stagnant habits, un-supportive people, not enough energy, not enough time, not enough money.
It is really important to set yourself up for success when you are creating your dream life. You need to make sure you have evaluated what your life will be like when you are living your dream, and compare it to what you life is like now, and determine what kind of shifts and changes that you will need to make in order to fully embrace this new way of living.
Make creating your dream life one of your top priorities. So many people put their own happiness way down at the bottom of their to-do list. It is time to move it to the top of the list!! Now is the time to get rid of what does not serve you, and is not in alignment with your dream life.
Perhaps you need to watch less TV, not drink a six pack of beer every night, or organize your time better. Don’t get caught up in other people’s drama! Surround yourself with supportive people and carve out some time to take care of yourself. Get enough sleep and eat well. Create space for your dream life to slip into.
4. Impatience and focusing on what is not there yet
This leads to self-doubt; stress, frustration and a whole slew of other feelings that make you feel like crap and wonder if your kick-ass dream will ever show up. It is also the fastest way to slow the process way down and possibly bringing it to a screeching halt.
Creating your dream life is a process that unfolds over time.
If you get caught up focusing your attention on what is not there yet, you miss everything that is there.
The more you focus on what is not there yet, the more you amplify the energy of lack in your life.
It is vitally important to focus on what is showing up, and noticing what is already there. Appreciate all that has already unfolded before you and the places in your life that are feeling kick-ass already
5. You resist the lessons along the way
I am going to be honest with you here: During the process of shifting into your kick-ass dream life, there are going to be places that are really uncomfortable.
You will find yourself pushing up against problems, and obstacles and things that you really do not want to deal with, or look at. You will be scared and confused too.
This is part of the process and it is necessary that you regard each of these things as the valuable lesson that it is. Your fear is there to tell you something. Each obstacle and problem is giving you an opportunity to examine your beliefs & stories about things.
Take these lessons as an opportunity to go within and identify where your stuff is. Take ownership of it, question it, and let go of all the stuff that no longer serves you.
Allow your expansion to happen!
Let’s Talk about Money for a minute……
Often times I hear people say that money is the thing that is preventing them from pursuing their dream.
BUT, the fact is that money is a very convenient and socially acceptable excuse to hide behind.
Before you start freaking out, telling me how you NEED MONEY!!!!! I want you to stay with me on this one for a minute.
When I dig deeper into this with clients, and I start asking questions, it usually ends up looking something like this:
I don’t really believe that I can have it .
I am afraid I will fail and I will not be able to support myself.
I do not trust myself to pull it off or do the work.
I do not trust myself to know what I want.
My happiness is not important enough.
My happiness is not my priority.
I am scared and afraid to go for it.
The reality is, that if you were 100% committed to creating your dream, and had faith that you could do it, you would. Money would not matter. You would find a way to make it work.
So, if money is what is holding you back, I ask you to examine that a bit closer and see what is sitting just underneath it.
