Archive for Q & A
Powerful Freaky Women
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Freaky Powerful Women
Some of the most powerful women in the media today have gotten there because they aren’t afraid to be their wild freaky selves. Look at Madonna and Lady Gaga. They do their own thing and amplify it to outrageous proportions and their fans love it! People camp out over night to buy tickets to their shows and spend their hard earned money to buy what they have to offer.
Imagine that! People being so inspired by what you offer that they can’t wait to give you money!
On the other side of this-some people hate Madonna and Lady Gaga. They make fun of their outfits and wouldn’t be caught dead listening to their music.
You know what- that’s OK too! One of the truths of this life is that not everyone is going to like you. Even such brilliant, kind souls like the Dali Lama and Gandhi had their share of enemies.
You can’t waste your time worrying about that. There’s always going to be hatters and nay-sayers. Don’t let them stop you from doing your thing.
I’m not suggesting that you wear a meat dress and to your next big event, it’s already been done….but it wouldn’t hurt to think about the things that make you stand out from the crowd and hang them out for the world to see. You just might find yourself surrounded by your own set of raving fans, and I bet it will feel awesome to be yourself.
I know it can seem scary to do this!
What if people don’t like what you have to offer?
What if your brand of freaky is not for them?
You might not like this answer but I’m going to say it anyway- who cares if they don’t like your brand of freaky!! What people think about you has nothing to do with you and is totally outside of your control.
Actually that’s not true. You can choose make other people’s comfort level more important than your own, and do everything that you can to please them and try to mold yourself into who they want you to be. That might make them comfortable, but where does that leave you?
If you are ready to become a powerful, freaky woman in your own right and you want some help learning to deal with the haters and the nay-sayers, sign up for a Kick-Ass Consultation. During this 30 minute conversation we will discuss how we can work together to make you immune to the criticism and judgment of others as you fly your freak flay high and proud and easily attract the people and opportunities that will make your life totally kick-ass!
Interview on The Art of Joyful Living Radio Show
Posted by: | CommentsLast week I was a guest on The Art of Joyful Living radio Show.
It was awesome!
We talk about what a pre-packaged life is, how to break free, and flying your freak flag high and proud.
How do I keep from falling back into my old way of being?
Posted by: | CommentsThis is a recent question that I received:
I am so ready to step into my authentic self and really embrace all that I desire, but I still feel part of myself resisting it.
Why is that??
If I can see who I want to be, what is stopping me from jumping in with both feet? Why do I find myself falling back into my old way of being and my ‘not-me’ behaviors?
This is a great question that many of my clients face.
The short answer: You need to commit to feeling things fully so that you no longer need those ‘not-me’ behaviors and old ways of being.
These behaviors and ways of being that you are trying to release are deeply ingrained in your ego and there is energy attached to them. You developed all the ‘not-me’ behavior in order to avoid feeling some kind of undesirable feeling. As children, our bodies are not equipped to run a lot of energy, and as a result, you got overwhelmed very easily. Typically, the folks around you can’t handle it, and you feel that, which enforces the idea that feeling those overwhelming feelings is undesirable, besides the fact that overwhelm does not feel good. So you begin to avoid feeling these energies at all costs.
Enter your EGO.
Your ego loves to identify everything and put a label on it so it knows what to expect. It gets really good at identifying any feeling that could potentially lead to overwhelm and creates all kinds of behaviors that keep you “safe” from these undesirable energies. In order to do this, a whole bunch of unconscious stories, beliefs and habits are developed that make up your perspective around how the world works, and who you need to be in order to survive in it.
What this all comes down to is that you are resisting feeling things fully.
Most of this stuff is unconscious and goes unexamined until you decide to make changes in your life.
Deciding to do the work to change your life is a conscious activity, especially if being truly authentic is your goal. Part of being conscious is to be fully present to what you are feeling…..which equals feeling things fully.
This is a major shift for many people.
The Ego convinces you that the intellect is king and it is all about thinking, where as your higher-self knows that all the information you need is right here in this moment for you to feel.
See the problem here?
If you are not committed to feeling things fully then you miss out on so much importnat information. You also fall back into these unconscious “not-me” behaviors and ways of being that are created to avoid feeling things fully.
The next question is: Won’t my head explode if I am feeling everything fully? Won’t I become overwhelmed?
The reality is that as we grow older and our bodies become fully developed we are totally capable of feeling everything and much, much more than we ever imagined. Your body is designed to be present in this wondrous and amazing world. You can feel and process everything you need to. The best part is, that as you allow yourself to really feel things fully, and experience all that there is for you to experience, it gets easier and easier to do. Your ability to feel and run energy expands. Next thing you know you are tapped right into your ever abundant flow and the world is your playground.
What do you think? Are you ready to jump in to your ever abundant flow?
How do you know when to “Suck it up Princess” or choose something else?
Posted by: | CommentsI recently received this question in response to one of my blog posts Super Deluxe Navigation System .
Since I suspect that a lot of you might wonder the same thing, I figured I would share my answer with you here.
“OK I have a major question about this! Sometimes life is not all peaches and roses.Sometimes we have to do stuff that sucks. After reading the first article about “what are you avoiding” and then contrasting it with this article, I’m confused. So you’re supposed to do what feels good… and not what feels bad. So if I don’t like my job, and I don’t like going on interviews and I don’t want to be self employed – all of that makes me anxious and stressed – but I do like eating junk food and watching tv because they are fun and feel good, then how exactly would I be on the right track by following what feels good? Obviously in the long run I’m going down a bad path. Soon I’ll be fat and broke and that doesn’t feel good either. Then what? “When do we “feel the fear and do it anyway” (even though it feels bad)? When do we have to say “suck it up princess” and do the hard work even though it feels bad? How do you know?”
You are right, life isn’t all peaches and roses and sometimes you have do things that scare you and that suck.
The questions is, do they suck on a long term basis…like a job you can’t stand that you feel trapped in…or a bad relationship…or an awful roommate situation, or are they things that scare you and suck on a short term basis….like going to the dentist or a job interview.
We all get scared, and it is good to learn how to move through that fear and “do it anyway” as long as “doing it” will bring you closer to a desired outcome. (This is when you would “feel the fear and do it anyway”).
I can compare it to getting a tattoo. You know it is going to hurt and it is scary to think about the hour you are going to be sitting there with little needles sticking into you over and over again, but the end result is some beautiful new ink that will decorate your body for the rest of your life so in my eyes it is well worth it.
Maybe you want to compare it to looking for a new job. Going on interviews suck and is scary, but the end result is that you get an awesome new job that you love to go to.
On the other hand, if going to my sucky job everyday feels bad and I hate it, I have to ask myself why am I doing it?
Why is it OK for me to be working a job that I can’t stand?
It is not necessary to suffer through a crappy job. There are always other possibilities and things you can do to make the situation feel better to you.
Staying in a sucky job is not so much about the money part, although that is the reason people say they do it.
What I ussually find with my clients is that it covers up a belief that you cannot get anything better, or it is the way work is supposed to be, or there are no other options. You do not expect anything different, so you settle for what you get.
If “suck it up princess” means to ignore the part of you that is crying out for something more and to settle with what you got, I say no way.
As far as following what feels good goes…if eating junk food and watching TV feels good that’s cool, as long as you are not doing it to avoid and tune out from something else.
I like to eat nachos and watch American Idol but that is not every night all night. I am not avoiding anything by doing it and it is adding to my pleasure.
When I talk about doing what feels good, I am suggesting that you follow what brings you happiness and meaning.
Sometimes eating junk food and watching TV is exactly what you need to chill out. Then it gets boring and you go do something else that is more stimulating that you want to do.
10 Random Things You Might Not Know (or want to know) About Me.
Posted by: | CommentsThis post is inspired by Victoria. Hers was so fun to read it inspired me to play along.
1. I have a strong affinity with cats. Cats have always found me strangely appealing. When I was young, cats would find & adopt me in the weirdest places; camping in the middle of nowhere, in a field, or walking down the street. Even now, strange cats follow me down the street or run out to see me. They are my pet of choice. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs too, but they are way too much work. Cats are cool. They hang out and do not demand too much.
2. I am very crafty and am accomplished at many old school “girly” things. My Nana and my Mom taught me how to sew, knit, crochet, and embroider. I do all of them off and on depending on my mood. I recently made my boyfriends a super plush bathrobe for Christmas and I like to make outfits/costumes to wear at parties, festivals and fire circles.
3. I need something to constantly focus my attention on. I am not good at just hanging around and making idle chit chat, or just sitting quietly with nothing to do. I used to drive my mother crazy because I always needed to be busy.
4. I have already lost both my parents. My Mom died when I was 28 and my Dad when I was 38. My Mom battled with breast cancer for 8 years. She never got to the place of acceptance around dying and resisted talking about it. We never really got to say goodbye. In our last coherent conversation, she told me to stop working so hard and to start living my life right now, don’t put it off until the future like she did, because you never know what is in store for you. She was 55 when she passed away.
My Dad died rather suddenly. He had emphysema, but was just as the beginning stages of it. He had just turned 70 and was hospitalized because he was having oxygen issues. The family thought that this was going to be the first of many hospitalizations. He was confused and scared and wanted to talk about the end of his life. I was the only one up to that conversation. I am thankful that I could stand in that place and discuss how he felt and where he was at with it. He passed away the next day.
5. I am actually really shy when I first meet people. People often assume that because I have a strong presence that I am out going, but that is not the case. I tend to feel awkward and shy about approaching people and starting conversations. This is especially hard for me in big groups of people that I do not know. My worst nightmare is big networking events! I do much better in one on one conversations, or if someone approaches me. Then it is all good.
6. I hate to be in the middle of big crowds of people. It makes me twitchy. I am cool if I am at an event where everyone is seated, but at parties, or events where there are lots of people milling about I need to be on the outside edges looking in. I need some personal space and a good observation point….or I bail and go home.
7. I was a bouncer in a popular night club in Boston for 3 years. Back in the early 90’s I was a total badass and into the club scene and it was my ambition to be a bouncer. It was fun. I was good at defusing situations without violence. I eventually stopped doing that and became a Reggae Promoter for 4 years.
8. I started on my path to real spiritual & personal development when I was 37.( Nope…I have not always been this way and it is not always easy for me). For most of my life I was angry, frustrated and unsatisfied. Life did not feel easy or very meaningful. I was good at my job, made lots of money, and had an active social life, but there was a big gaping hole in me that I tried to fill with all kinds of parties, booze, sex, and food. I did not treat myself very nicely and I was good at blaming everyone else for my dissatisfaction. Finally a series of events happened that made me wake up and head in a new direction. This is where I landed. Now, I love my life.
9. I really want to go up in a hot air balloon! I think it would be so cool! Anyone want to join me???
10. When I was in high school I used to do the morning announcements and announce the basketball games and wrestling matches. I had dreams of being on the radio. During morning announcements I had to say the Pledge of Allegiance. At least twice a week I would mess it up somehow….forgetting a line, or getting the words backwards. One time they shut me down mid stream because I was laughing so hard. Now my dreams are manifest with my online radio show. I love doing it!
So…do you feel like you know me better?
Do you feel like playing along?
You can by sharing some random facts about yourself in the comments or creating your own blog post and linking back here.
