Archive for fear
Do you ever doubt that you are on the right path?
Posted by: | CommentsRecently, I was having a conversation with someone around this very
subject. He was wondering if he was on the right path because he
was not getting the business that he needed to keep moving forward.
His business had dropped off significantly over the past few years
due to the economy and other trends in his field. He’s been living
off his savings lately and was considering going out and getting
another job, but he did not want to. He loves his work and the idea
of giving it up and doing something else was painful.
We talked about his situation for awhile, and it became very clear
that he was doing exactly what he is meant to be doing, but his
fear and doubt were stopping him from putting himself out there in
bold new ways in order to attract business.
His energy was used up by questioning his self worth and he did
not trust in his ability to make it work. As things got tougher and
tougher, the fearful voice in his head got louder and his
self-doubt grew. Every unsuccessful offer became an opportunity for
that voice to say:”I told you so.”
Have you ever felt that way?
I sure have!
I have stood chest deep in my fear around not making enough money,
and no one wanting what I am offering. My fear drained my energy
and caused me to make a bunch of half-assed attempts to offer my
services. I was so afraid of being rejected; I did not really even
try to put myself out there. Of course no one hired me, and I could
hear my fear whispering in my ear: “I told you so”.
So what did I do?
I learned how to kick-fears ass so that it no longer has power over me.
I learned how to acknowledge, explore and replace my fear with thoughts about what I wanted in my life.
You can read more about how I did this in this blog post.
Once I did this, I was able to own that I was on the right path and
I was 100% committed to making it work. I began to show up fully in
my business and it became much easier to stretch myself and try new
things to stand out from the crowd. Failure is not an option for me.
My questions to your are:
What would be possible if fear was not controlling you anymore?
What would you try?
How would you show up in your business and your life?
Share your answers in the comments below!
How do you know if your fear is helping you or holding you back?
Posted by: | CommentsI was reading a blog post by Jonathan Fields the other day that talked about the discomfort of growing and expanding into the unknown, and being willing to be vulnerable and facing the fear and discomfort because he knows that he will be stepping more fully into himself on the other side.
It sounds like he is stepping more fully into his kick-ass dream life to me!
An interesting question came up in the comments of this post:
How do you discern the difference between the fear of moving forward into the new unfamiliar-yet-appropriate direction and the fear that’s trying to tell you, no, this isn’t right for you. I sometimes have a lot of difficulty telling these two fears apart and they often seem to be disguised as one another.
This question got me thinking……
How do you tell the difference?
On the surface they may appear to be the same thing, but if you take a real close look at them you can detect some differences between the two. They feel different in your body and you will find that the way it shows up in your inner dialogue will be different. Once you dig down into it, you will discover that they are rooted in two completely different places.
To me, the fear of moving forward into an unfamiliar- yet appropriate direction seems more ego driven, where as the fear that is trying to tell you that you are heading in the wrong direction is more intuition based.
The question is which one do you take more stock in?
I always trust my intuition. My ego is often full of shit so I like question what it is telling me
For example, when I examine it closely I see that my fear around moving into unfamiliar-yet appropriate territory is really more about the outcome or results. I feel it more in my head and neck. I am not sure what to do or expect, and I don’t want to make a mistake, or look stupid. Once I get clear about what I am really afraid of, it is so much easier for me to move through it.
On the other hand, if my fear is my intuition telling me I am heading in the wrong direction, I feel it in my core and have a sense of being held back. I am unsure if I should move forward, and find myself very unwilling to take action. I am dragging my feet. I find that it is best to wait a while and gather more information, or test the waters very slowly.
In my mind, the best way to deal with fear is to meet it head on and get up close and personal with it.
The thing is that most people do not want to cozy up and get intimate with their fear. They’d rather look at it from across the room or ignore it completely. That is why it has so much power over you!
If you want to grow and expand more fully into yourself and your kick-ass dream life, you are going to have to learn how to deal with your fear, and to get familiar with what it’s trying to tell you. It is your unexamined fear that has power over you. You need to stand up to it and look down deep into the depth of it to see what is really going on for you if you want any chance of effectively moving forward. This involves self-inquiry and being willing to sit with the discomfort that you are feeling.
I would love to hear your thoughts about dealing with your fear in the comments down below.
If fear is something that you struggle with, my new e-book The 3 Steps to Kicking Fear’s Ass can help! I break down my 3 steps for moving through your fear and provide you with all the tools you need to dig down deep into your fear and see what is really going on. I also tell you how to replace your fear with something that will help you propel you forward towards your kick-ass dream. You can learn more here.
Is Fear Holding You Back? Here’s a Solution!
Posted by: | CommentsI am proud to announce that The 3 Steps to Kicking Fears Ass is ready!
Woo-hoo! High Five!
This e-book is my solution for you if you are finding yourself tripped up by fear when you are going after your kick-as dream life.
I created this e-book because fear is hands down the biggest obstacle that I see for my clients. It is often disguised as something else like; self-doubt, worry, overwhelm, anxiety, or confusion. When you dig down into it you discover that it is really fear lurking about trying to protect you by keeping you small.
The question is: How do you move past it?
I lay out my three steps for doing this in the e-book.
Here is a preview:
1. Acknowledge your fear and call it out for what it is. Fear feels bad, so our tendency is to ignore it, call it something else, or blame something outside of ourselves for it. You don’t want to own it because it makes you feel vulnerable and you don’t want to deal with it. Trust me, ignoring it is not helping any. Acknowledge and own it, then you will be better positioned to deal with it. (Ok….I have to acknowledge that sometimes fear can be exciting and thrilling….but then it really isn’t a problem, is it?)
2. Explore your fear and shine the light of awareness on it. Know what you are dealing with. Go deep into it. In most cases, you fear only has power over you because it is unexamined. In many cases it is based on something that falls apart when you look closely at it. In other cases, it is something that goes much deeper than you originally thought. You need to identify exactly what you are afraid of to effectively move past it.
3. Replace the fear with thoughts about what you really want. Now that you know what you are dealing with and are feeling more empowered, it is important to shift your focus onto what you want so the fear gets muscled out of the way. You are the boss of your thoughts. Focus on how freakin’ awesome it is going to feel to be living the life that your fear is trying to keep you from. Amplify that energy every day. Next thing you know you will be living that life for real.
Now in the e-book there is plenty of discussion around fear and how to work each of these steps to move past it. There are questions that you can ask yourself to help get to the heart of the matter and I share the same tools with you that I offer my private clients. I have seen amazing results in my own life and with my clients with this process.
If The 3 Steps to Kicking Fear’s Ass is just what you have been waiting for, go snatch up your copy now. I have it listed at an introductory low price that will go up on September 25. Click here to get your copy now!
Some Tips for Dealing with Procrastination
Posted by: | CommentsDoes procrastination stop you from creating your kick-ass dream life?
You made the choice to go for your dream and you took some initial steps forward, but now you seem to have hit a wall and you find yourself standing still. In your mind, you think you know exactly what needs to happen, but you can’t seem to do it. There are 100 other things that are more important.
All this procrastinating is wearing you down, and you are starting to mentally beat yourself up for not taking action. You are feeling bad about yourself and starting to doubt your ability to pull this thing off. After all, you know exactly what needs to be done, so why aren’t you doing it?
That is a good question!
Why aren’t you doing it?
Let’s take a minute to explore what procrastination is.
Procrastination is a form of resistance. There is something that is not in alignment. Somewhere inside of your subconscious, a voice is saying “don’t do it.”
The question you want to ask is “why not?”
I think that there are two potential answers.
The first being, it is not the right time to take action.
I find that this happens a lot around writing and other creative activities. You think you know exactly what needs to be done, but the idea really needs to percolate a bit before it is ready to come out into being. There is something that you still are unsure about. Forcing the issue does not help at all.
The best solution is to stop beating yourself up for not doing it right now and create the space for it to show up when it is ready.
The second answer is a bit more complex.
The voice in your subconscious is saying “don’t do it” because you are afraid of what is going to happen when you do.
Taking action to create your kick-ass dream life means moving outside of your comfort zone and that can feel downright scary!
When you ask yourself the question “Why Not?” the answer is: I am afraid of_________________( failing, being standing out, being laughed at, making a mistake)
The best thing to do is deal with your fear head on. In most cases, when you shine the light of awareness on it, it stops seeming so scary.
Next time you find yourself procrastinating, try these tips to move you through it.
Take a few minutes to acknowledge that you are procrastinating.
Stop beating yourself up and making yourself wrong for being in this place. Allow yourself to see what it is trying to show you.
Do a bit of self exploration to identify what is in the way. Ask; “Why am I not taking action?”, “Is now the right time to do this?”, “How does it serve me to not take action”, “What am I afraid will happen if I do this thing.”
If you find that you are not taking action because you’re unsure and not ready, lovingly give yourself some time to work it out.
If you find that fear is in the way, then explore that fear and meet it head on. Shine the light of awareness on it and determine if it is really a good reason not to go forward.
I would love to hear how these tips work for you. Give them a try and then let me know how they work in the comments below.
Is It Really Worth It?????
Posted by: | CommentsThe topic of struggle and pushing through has been coming up again and again recently. This is what some of you are saying:
“I know…they say that mercury is retrograde….but come on! Does it really have to be this difficult?”
“I am on the verge of giving up my dream because I am so sick of wasting my vital life energy when I keep coming up against road block after road block. Is following my dream really worth it?”
Listen closely to this:
“YES IT IS!”
It is so worth it to go after your kick-ass dream life!
Your dreams and desires are leading you to your own unique higher purpose. They feel good to think about for a reason! They are in alignment with who you really are and what will bring you the most happiness, satisfaction, and meaning into your life. Your dreams are where the juicy goodness lives.
I am not going to sit here and tell you that going for your dream is easy, because it is not. There is definitely some work involved on your part, but it does not have to be a struggle or suck all your vital life energy.
This is the thing you need to realize: These blocks and obstacles are lessons that you need to learn in order to clear away all the old “baggage” that is not in alignment with your new kick-ass life. They are an indication that it is time to step back and look within, decide what would be better, or to try a new approach. You are going to make mistakes! Maybe even big mistakes! It is not the end of the world. The better you get at tuning in and noticing how something is feeling and working for you, the sooner you can adjust your course. Then get right back to it and try something new until you discover what works for you!
If you find yourself struggling or feeling your energy drained, it is most likely because you are resisting the lesson, or trying to force your way through the obstacle. I know that this can be confusing, and frustrating! It is all about looking inside and taking ownership of your experience and treating every challenge as an opportunity for growth.
I know that from personal experience this can be difficult to do on your own. I want you to know that I am here to help you with this if you will let me. Signing up for this free webcast that is a great place to start!
