Archive for funky hair
Fuck Personas
Posted by: | CommentsI’m a complex person and I’ve played a lot of different roles in my life: Bad-Ass Night Club Bouncer, Rocking Reggae Promoter, Kick-Ass Cook, Server in the Hottest Joint in Town, Mistress of the Underground Party Scene, Candy-Flipping Party Girl Extraordinaire, Manager Extraordinaire, Behavior Modification Wizard and Caretaker to some very special folks.
All of these personas had a distinct uniform and personality and only allowed me to express a small fraction of who I am as an individual. I would put a different persona on depending on what I was doing. As a result, I found myself compartmentalizing the different aspect of my personality in order to fit into the culture of my environment. It was exhausting!
Have you ever found yourself doing that?
When I was being the Server in the Hottest Joint in Town, I had to wear my hair a certain way and maintain my appearance in the way that suited my employer. No piercings, no funky hair color. I lived by their schedule not mine. I had to watch what I said and couldn’t freely talk about my alter-egos; Mistress of the Underground Party Scene and Candy Flipping Party Girl. When I did, the people I worked with thought I was too freaky, or they buddied up to me and wanted me to be their access point into the mysterious underground world I was privy to.
I talked to my family about my work life, but barely breezed over my social life. They didn’t understand or want to hear about it.
I had my chosen family of fun, freaky friends who I could be ME with, but my work and family life was totally separate.
I felt like I was living 3 different lives all with separate personas. You should have seen my closet! I had three different wardrobes.
I was so used to having to hide parts of who I was; I didn’t really know how to be me all the time. I developed a defensive shield that I put up around me that effectively hid me from the world. I only let certain people in, and left the rest to try and peer in through the cracks.
It was exhausting and I soon tired of it. I decided that I wanted to be me all the time, and I changed my life to accommodate that desire. I went to coaching school and became a coach. I longed to be fully self-expressed and did a lot of work to get to know who I was underneath all those personas.
I became the coach for other “freaky” people who were sick and tired of hiding who they are too. I imagined doing my part to create a world where everyone was encouraged to be unique individuals and create business that was the perfect reflection of their unique gifts and talents. Woo-hoo!! I set out on my merry way to do that.
A few years ago I realized that I was caught up in a whole different set of personas: The Business Owner, the Bad-Ass Non-Conforming Rebel Brand, The Marketer, The Home Owner and it felt stifling.
Man!!! How did I end up here again??
When I sat down and looked at it, I realized that I was caught up in a story that said that there is a right way and a wrong way to be in business. I was too concerned about being “on-brand” all the time. On some level I felt that I still had to compartmentalize who I was and create very specific personas in order to be successful. I was right back where I started from, not fully allowing my ME-ness to shine through.
Fuck Personas!
I now know that the way for me to be successful is to bring more of ME into my life and business. No more caricatures of who I think I need to be to succeed. I no longer worry about being “on-brand” or “off-brand”. Hell, I am my brand; my superpowers, vulnerabilities, freaky bits, and all the other parts of me that are revealing themselves throughout the day.
Amazing things happen when I show up fully, love and accept myself, and let the me-ness run free. There is an ease and flow to life and I attract all kinds of amazing opportunities to do the work I love.
I’m curious to learn what personas you find yourself caught up in?
How do they serve you?
My Right People
Posted by: | CommentsIf you want to become a freak flag flying, freedom loving, money making machine, you need to clearly identify who your right people are and choose to exclusively work with them.
What do I mean by right people?
Your right people are the ones that you totally LOVE to work with and they love working with you too. You’re on the same wave length and everyone gets exactly what they want and need from the relationship. These are the folks who will be posting how awesome you are on Facebook and telling all their friends to hire you!
Determining who you’re right people are is a lot like deciding who you want to date. It’s important to be choosy and have a clear idea what your standards are and who you are a good fit with. You don’t want to just give it away or settle for whoever comes along.
I see so many business people giving it away and settling for anyone when money gets tight. There’s an air of desperation and they cast a very wide net and offer their services to just about everyone, which never turns out well. You end up working with people that drive you crazy, doing things you don’t enjoy and only getting so-so results.
Just so we’re clear- I’m going to share who my right people are so you know who I exclusively work with.
I work with rebelicious, free-spirited entrepreneurs who buck the system and are determined to make money and have fun doing what they love.
They either already work for themselves or are ready to make the move and need a bit of help fine tuning their vision.
I show them the way to more freedom, fun and money by flying their freak flag high and proud via my writing, tele-classes, and 1-1 coaching sessions.
More Specifically-
My right peeps value their freedom. They need to live life on their own terms and be self-expressed. Hiding who they are and conforming doesn’t work for them. They have (or want) tattoos, piercings, funky hair and rock out their own sense of style.
They are committed to living a kick-ass life, there’s no settling or just getting by. It is essential that they do work they enjoy and get paid well for it. They’ve already wasted enough time doing work they thought they should do to make money and didn’t feel right to them. Now they want to whole package- freedom, fun and money.
My right people are creative. They like to dress up in fun costumes to go to parties, and wear crazy sparkly make-up. They play music, sing and dance when they get together with their friends. Their houses are full of interesting things.
They are born leaders even if they resist that notion some of the time. People look up to them and they make an impression. They aren’t afraid to make bold moves, and express their opinions.
They are spiritual, into the law of attraction and believe that the Universe is conspiring with them to create the life they want. They are positive people and know that their life can be anything that they want it to be, but figuring out what that looks like is often challenging.
They are into healthy cooking, good food and hanging out with friends. You can often find them indulging in hedonistic activates- like drinking good tequila, eating chocolate naked, and hanging out in the hot-tub on a starry night. They’re very sensual and into exploring their sexuality and trying new things.
They enjoy electronic music and used to be part of the rave culture, punk or underground party scene. They did their fair share of ecstasy, acid and other recreational drugs, and still may indulge on a rare occasion, but now you’re more likely to find them enjoying a glass of wine, tequila or some good pot every now and then.
Finally, they are into personal development and making their lives kick-ass by investing in themselves. They take full responsibility for their outcomes. They rarely blame, whine or complain.
If this sounds like you, I’d love to connect!!
Now it’s your turn. Who are your right people?
Noticing the Shift
Posted by: | CommentsFor as long as I can remember I have loved the color red!
This love affair started about 25 years ago when I was 20 and decided to dye my hair red. I thought that having red hair made me more mysterious & wild, and I liked being thought of as a ‘fiery redhead’.
Red quickly became my signature color and I incorporated it into all aspects of my life. I wore lots of red and black clothing, drove a red car (Boy do I miss that car!) and it was a no brainer what color anything to buy me for a gift. I even incorporated red into my business image.
I was set- it was me and red in love forever!!!
Then an interesting thing happened. When I turned 45 I started thinking about dying my hair blue.
I had this undeniable urge to mix things up in a big way and I kept coming back to the blue hair thing.
“Could I really do it?!?”
Of course I could, but I kept wondering who I would be without my red hair.
I decided to go for it. It was scary but I dyed my hair back to its original brown color and added some beautiful Blue Velvet and Pimpin’ Purple chunky streaks to the front.
Wowzza!! My new hair was totally awesome. I felt like a Rockstar that night when I went out to a party and showed it off. Everyone loved it.
This was the real me!!! I was letting my freak flag fly and it felt good.
Over the next few weeks I started noticing that my new funky hair color matched so many of my things. It matched the cool sweater that I had bought the year before but never really wore much. It was the exact same color as my new winter coat and gloves that I had bought a month earlier. Matter of fact I had lots of cloths that matched my hair. It was the same color as my car!
My how things had changed!
On so many levels I had unconsciously chosen to leave the red behind. It just took a while to consciously get on board with it.
It makes me curious about the other places in my life that I have grown and changed but I am not totally conscious of them yet.
This all confirms to me the importance of being present in your life and checking in with your preferences. We all change, and grow and expand. The trick is to keep up with it!
Is there anything in your life that has shifted?
