Archive for what do you want
What are You Talking Yourself Out Of?
Posted by: | CommentsI work with all kinds of people who are tired of the status quo and want help breaking free from their pre-package lives. They come to me because they feel stuck in limbo and can’t figure out what will make their life feel more fulfilling, meaningful and fun. They want some clarity and a plan to shift things.
This might surprise you, but in most cases they actually already know what it is that will make their life more fulfilling, meaningful and fun, but they talked themselves out of it. Their heart has clearly showed them what they are passionate about and their head convinced them that they shouldn’t waste their time pursuing it.
Do you ever find yourself letting your head talk your heart out of going after what you’re passionate about?
The great thing is that with a bit of coaching it’s easy to break free of the pre-packaged beliefs that fill your head and cause you to think that you shouldn’t follow your heart and do what interests you.
For example, the 30 something year old dude who was struggling to maintain his sanity in the secure, practical management job that he had. He felt trapped and needed help figuring out how to shift things so his life felt better. After a few coaching sessions it was obvious that what he was really passionate about was being a musician, but he kept convincing himself that this was not a practical idea. He had bought in the pre-packaged belief that you can’t make money as a musician and you needed a real job in order to be a successful, responsible adult.
This is why he felt so trapped. His head was talking himself out of what his heart was crying out for and it was making him totally depressed. I gave him the assignment to think of all the possible ways that he could make money as a musician, and to open up to the possibility. Next thing you know he had a list of options and new opportunities, and created a plan. Four months into his plan he was supporting himself as a musician, and now has more opportunities than he knows what to do with. His life is Kick-Ass!
I also worked with a woman who was turning 40 and wanted help creating the next phase of her life. For the past 20 years she had been focused on being responsible and was burnt out. She felt that now was the time to create space to honor her creativity more. She felt limited in her options, and wanted help figuring out what this could look like for her. Once we started working together it became clear that what she really wanted was to write and to make the space in her life to do that, but she kept talking herself out of going for it because she didn’t think that was practical. Once we cleared out the pre-packaged beliefs that convinced her that she shouldn’t pursue this passion, and started looking at all the ways it could work, all kinds of possible scenarios started to appear. As her excitement about leaving her job to pursue her passion grew, the people around her got excited too. Everything began to fall into place and she now is set herself up to be able to do what interests her and still take care of her responsibilities. Her Kick-Ass Life is unfolding before her as we speak.
Next time you’re feeling unsatisfied and trapped, take some time to check in and see what your heart wants you to do. Pay attention to the pre-packaged beliefs that begin to fill your head and tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it. Play in the realm of possibilities and start asking “How could this work? “
Is working for yourself REALLY part of your Kick-Ass Dream Life?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat do you really want from your work life?
How do you want to feel at the end of your day?
What do you need to feel secure-successful-satisfied?
Is owning your own biz the real solution?
It seems a common belief that the only way to have the freedom and flexibility that you crave is to own your own biz or and work for yourself, but is that really true?
On Monday Nov, 8th at 3 PM EST we will be talking about this very thing on My Kick-Ass Dream Life . The conversation will be focused on exploring what you want and the different ways to go about getting it. You might be surprised at what you learn.
Come get in on the conversation!
You can join the live show two ways:
1. Pick up your phone and dial
(661) 244-9817
You will be connected with the show and you can listen in live. If you want to join in the conversation and share something, or ask a question you can do so by pushing #1 button to virtually raise your hand and let us know you want to join in.
2. You can click this link to stream the show live over your computer.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/my-kick-ass-dream-life-/2010/11/08/is-working-for-yourself-really-part-of-your-kick-ass-dream-life
If you go this route you have the option to log into the chat that is going in real time with the live show. You will need to set up a free blog talk account to log into the chat…don’t worry…it’s easy.
If you can’t make the live show you can listen to the recording of the show via the same link anytime you like after the show airs live.
I hope you can make it!
Here is How You Can Kick-Fears Ass!
Posted by: | CommentsIn my last post I talked about fear and came to this conclusion:
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
As promised, this time I am going to share my 3 step process for kicking fear to the curb so that you can get on with creating and enjoying your kick-ass life.
So how do you kick fears ass and move it out of your way?
You follow these three steps:
Acknowledge, Explore, and Replace with thoughts about what you are wanting to create.
1. Acknowledge the Fear: Shine the light of awareness on it and don’t let it lurk about in the dark.
Fear can be tricky and likes to lurk around behind other feelings.
Don’t let it pretend to be something else like:
- confusion
- the voice of reason
- I don’t know what to do
- excuses
- self-doubt
- anxiety
- jealousy
- resistance
- nervousness
- worry
- anger
- cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
- procrastination
By shining the light of awareness on it you are making it conscious and you take some power away from it.
2. Explore it and get to know what it is all about.
Do some self inquiry to get clear on what you are really afraid of. You need to know what you are dealing with. This helps you determine how to set yourself up for success and support yourself in moving through it.
Are any of these “itis” coming into play: (via Abraham-Hicks)
- “What-if-itis. Worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
- “What-is-itis”. Fearing things in your currently reality.
- “Perfectionistic-itis”. Trying to make everything perfect.
- “Analysis-paralisis-itis“. Spending so much time thinking everything through that you don’t take risks. Spending all your time planning ahead for problems that might occur.
Once you are armed with this information, do what you can to resolve any issues, and set yourself up for success.
3. Replace it with thoughts about what you really want.
Choose to focus on how it will feel to be living your kick-ass life. By doing this you are shifting your attention and energy towards what you do want, rather than focusing on your fear. Keep your eye on the prize. When you see all juicy goodness that you are headed for, the fear does not seem so powerful.
Still have questions? Ask away!
I am here to help.
Where the Juicy Goodness Can Be Found
Posted by: | CommentsThe surest way to bring more juicy goodness into your life is
by deepening your own relationship with YOU.
This is the most important connection that you can create.
Otherwise, how do you know what brings you happiness, meaning
and success?
This is trickier than it may sound for many people, especially the
freaky folks.
We live in a society where there are lots of expectations and
pre-packaged beliefs around how we are ‘supposed’ to live, and
who we are ‘supposed’ to be in this world.
When you do not fit into that mold,it is easy to feel like there
is something wrong with you, and you begin to feel unworthy,
undeserving, resentful, and a whole lot of other emotions that
feels yucky.
It is really easy to start making yourself wrong for being different.
The worst part is that you tend to settle for whatever comes your
way because you think that you can’t have anything else.
You are so busy trying to be something that you are not,
there is no space to ask yourself :
“What would feel good to me?”
or
“What works in MY life?”.
These questions are the key to bringing in more Juicy Goodness.
I know this sounds simple, and it is on one level,
but I also recognize that it can be very difficult to do.
So many people never learned how to ask themselves these
questions on a regular basis.
When we are young we set our
course for who think we are supposed to be in the world.
This course is not necessarily based on who we are, but rather
who we think we should be.
So we spend our time trying to force ourselves in to a life that
does not fit, rather than exploring and discovering who we really are,
and what feels good to us. We end up in jobs that are dull,
and meaningless, in relationships that feel crappy,
and generally feeling unsatisfied.
In order to make ourselves feel better, we shop, eat,
have sex with the wrong people, read self help books,
and usually blame everyone else for our misery.
We spend our time looking outside ourselves for the solution,
when it is right there inside of us waiting to be discovered.
You are the only one who knows what is right for you.
The key is being committed to deepening your relationship with yourself.
How do you do that?
Make a commitment to knowing yourself better.
Get in the habit of asking yourself some of these key questions:
“What makes ME happy?
“What already works for me and feels good in my life?”
“What do I enjoy doing?”
“What do I want from _________________?”
( my career, relationship, health, sexuality, or any given situation)
“How do I want to feel when I _______________?”
(Am at work, in relationship, walk down the street, anything that you do)
“What would feel good to me right now?”
If you really want to get intimate with yourself, whenever something
or someone is bothering you and making you feel upset, irritated or
generally uncomfortable, ask yourself:
“What about this is making me feel uncomfortable?”.
Listen to the answers and go out and use that information to create a
life that is designed to suit your unique style.
Surround yourself with the people and things that support your happiness.
Nurture the relationship with yourself as if you were your favorite lover.
Give yourself everything you need to be happy and feel great.
You will be surprised at how easy it becomes once you get in the habit
of asking yourself what you need.
As an extra bonus you will discover
that all the people around you will benefit from your happiness.
Soon enough you will all be surrounded by all the Juicy Goodness
that life has to offer.
Does this sound doable to you?
What stands in the way of you living your kick-ass dream life?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you could create your kick-ass dream life, what would it look like ?
What would you spend your days doing?
Who would you hang out with?
Where would you live?
What would the weather be like?
How would you feel when you wake up in the morning?
How would you feel when you go to bed at night?
What is stopping you from living this dream right now?
What stands in your way?
I suspect that many of you think it is the money, other responsibilities (family/kids), where you live, or a number of other circumstances that stand in the way of you living your dream life. But I am here to tell you that you are wrong.
What is keeping you from living a life that totally rocks right now is your stories about who you are and what is possible for you. We all have them. They are commonly called limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind and determine what we even try to do with our lives. They keep us small and prevent us from going after our big dreams.
Your Limiting beliefs are behind that voice in your head that says:
” You can’t do that.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What are you crazy?”
“This is just the way the world works”
These beliefs keep you small and tightly packed into that box that society wants you to live inside of.
The interesting thing is that most of these beliefs are not really true at all. They are just some story that you bought into somewhere along the way (just like everyone else). I suspect that if you begin to question them you will see how quickly they fall apart.
The reality is that each of us can be, do and have anything that our hearts desire. There is no limit to what is possible when you sent your mind to it. The trick is that you have to believe that it is possible before you can allow it to unfold for you.
I am curious about where in your life you are not allowing yourself to go for what you really want because you don’t think that you can have it?
Where are you allowing yourself to sit in a place that is feels sucky because you think that is “just the way it has to be” ?
If you are interested in doing something about these limiting beliefs, you can sign up for a free 3o minute Breakthrough Session. During this session I will help you to uncover exactly what is standing in the way and what you can do about it.
If this sounds good, shoot me an email here and someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
