Archive for September, 2010
Let go and get on with it already!
Posted by: | CommentsThe other day I was going through a bunch of old emails and I found a message from a dear friend. In it was a link to a video that she found called Breaking-Free. This topic is very appealing to me so I got comfy with my kitty companions and a cup of coffee and I watched the video.
This video was very cool. It highlighted a number of people who broke free of their conventional lives, took some risks, and journeyed off to far away lands to create their kick-ass dream lives.
The thing that rang true for me, was that they all had to release some ideas about how their lives were suppose to be in order to discover the things that were deeply meaningful and satisfying. They talked about never dreaming that they would end up doing what they are doing now, or that it was even possible.
I see this with my clients as well. Living your kick-ass dream life IS NOT about anything that you need to wait to have in the future when you have everything set up just right.
Living your kick-ass dream life IS about allowing yourself to let go of all the things that stand in your way of going for it.
It’s also about:
- giving yourself permission to take risks.
- trusting that the Universe has your back and is conspiring with you to get you what you want.
- fully committing to going for it.
- being strongly connected to your reasons for doing so because that is what will move you through the challenging places.
Get these things in place and you will be well on your way to Kick-Ass!
Here is the video that inspired me. Enjoy!
Breaking Free [FULL] from Matador Network on Vimeo.
Ten tips for connecting to your kick-ass dream life
Posted by: | CommentsI often work with people who know that they want something more out of life, but they have no idea what that looks like.
I always suggest a bit of self-exploration to help them uncover their version of a kick-ass life.
I figured that I would share these 10 tips for connecting to your kick-ass life in case you struggle with the same thing.
Here we go………
1. Commit to looking for the things that make you happy. Start making a daily kick-ass list. Write down everything that feels good to you and that you want more of.
2. Create space to sit quietly and connect to your inner-freak every day. Listen to what it tells you. It knows the way to all that is juicy and fun.
3. Put yourself outside your normal day-to-day life to shake things up a bit and shift your perspective. (I decided to go for my dream of being a Life Coach when I was at Burning Man.)
4. Tap into your curiosity and sense of wonder. Ask questions, dig deep, and let yourself be surprised.
5. Play more! Have fun! This will help you tap into the energy of your kick-ass life and attract more of it to you.
6. Explore all the things that interest you and try it on for size. Conduct your very own Life Experiments.
7. Pay attention to what you admire about the folks around you. Think about what exactly it is that appeals to you. (For example: You admire your friends open relationship. When you think about it, you recognize that what appeals to you is their ability to be themselves and pursue their own interests, and that is what you want more of.)
8. Give yourself permission to do all the things that you think you CAN’T or SHOULDN’T do, but you really-really want to.
9. Think about how you want the different aspects of your life to feel. (i.e. Work, relationships, body, spirituality, communication, sexuality, and relationship to money)
10. Imagine how you want to feel on Monday morning, Wednesday afternoon, and Friday. What do you do on the weekends? Get specific. Think about the kind of people you want to be around and the things you will do.
Pick a few to try out and let me know what happens in the comments below.
The question is:Do you want to feel better?
Posted by: | CommentsI saw it in his eye’s today as we sat and talked. That far away, hurt expression that tells me he is caught up in his head and thinking about something that does not feel good to him.
I asked him what was going on in that head of his and he shared some stuff about not feeling good about himself and feeling like he was not accomplishing enough in his life. I have seen him in this place before.
Hell, I have seen myself in this place; my head starts to fill up with thoughts about how I can’t seem to get things where I want them, and all my failures. Then I start comparing myself to other people and I just don’t measure up. I tell myself that I am lazy, I don’t try hard enough, and that I suck. I end up feeling pretty bad about myself and totally dissatisfied with my life. This big energetic hole forms in my stomach and I feel that I might disappear into it.
I ask him, “Do you want to feel this way, or do you want to feel better about yourself?”
It seems like a simple enough question, but how often do you give yourself this choice?
Do you even know that you have a choice?
I know that for a long time I did not recognize that I had one. I was a slave to my negative thoughts and it caused me to be very frustrated, dissatisfied and depressed. I would unintentionally choose to feel bad about myself.
Then I read the book “The Four Agreements” and it shifted everything for me. This book made me realize that I had a choice and I could shift my thinking, and the importance of how I talked to myself in my head. It started me on the path to where I am today.
Today, I always choose to feel better about myself.
The next question is: How do you do that?
Here are some real simple things to start with.
1. Make the choice to feel good about yourself. Set the intention and repeat it every day.
2. Recognize that although you can’t stop negative thoughts from entering your head, you can choose not to focus on them. When you notice that negative stream coming in intentionally shift your focus to something that feels good to you. Even if it means totally distracting yourself by watching cartoons.
3. Make a daily practice of starting off your day focusing on things that feel good to you and that you appreciate. Appreciate yourself, your friends, family, environment, pets, and anything else that makes you smile.
5. Celebrate every little thing that you do, no matter how big or small. Get in the habit of patting yourself on the back and telling yourself: “You Rock!” See your own greatness.
6. If you are unsatisfied with something, ask yourself: “What would make this better?” This allows you to move towards a solution rather than focusing on what you are unsatisfied with and helps to shift the bad feelings much faster.
These simple things can create big changes in your life if you commit to doing them. I’m not going to say that they are not hard work sometimes since the default tends to be to slip down the rabbit hole of feeling crappy. It takes conscious effort to remember to do these things, but the choice is always there.
Pick a few to try out and let me know what happens in the comments below.
What will bring you the freedom and satisfaction that you desire?
Posted by: | CommentsAnother Monday on deck and I am looking forward to doing my new online radio show, My Kick-Ass Dream Life, this afternoon at 3 PM. The fact that I actually like Monday’s is a wonderful thing, and now that I am doing this show it makes them all the sweeter.
Today we will be talking about discovering your own version of kick-ass. It looks different for everyone and it is important to do a bit of soul searching to discover what will make you feel alive, excited, successful and complete.
There are so many possibilities out there for a non-conforming soul to consider once you’ve broken free from the mainstream mentality.
For example, how do you want to feel in your relationships? Do you prefer to have only one partner, or would you rather have many? Do you want children, or would you rather not be a parent? Do you prefer to live together, or maintain separate homes and lifestyles? All of these things are possible. The best part is that you get to choose which serves you best.
No one is judging you here. I want you to do what is right for you and allows you to feel the freedom and satisfaction that you desire in your life.
Maybe that freedom & satisfaction comes in the form of a monogamous heterosexual relationship where you are married and live in a nice house with a white picket fence and have two kids.
Or just maybe that freedom and satisfaction comes in the form of a polyamorous relationship with a few different men and women where you share a home with your primary female partner and children while spending time with your male partner at his apartment, and enjoying dates with other love interests.
It’s all good here, and I want to empower you to discover what works best for you.
So if you want to get in on the conversation click this link and you will be directed to the show page.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/my-kick-ass-dream-life-/2010/09/20/discover-your-own-version-of-kick-ass
No worries if you missed the live show. You can listen to the podcast by clicking the same link when ever works for you.
Throw Down the Gauntlet
Posted by: | CommentsLast night I was on the table enjoying another awesome massage from my friend Dan and we started talking about blazing your own trail and arriving at the point when you know that you are living your dream.
You see Dan is living his dream right now, but it wasn’t always like that.
I first met Dan at a friend’s party. He arrived dressed all funky with his hair in two buns, eyeliner and a cool hat. He was fabulous and fun. He was a DJ and was into photography, and like to go frolic in the woods. But he was not very happy over all. He worked a 9-5 job in an office where he made good money, but he was bored to death. He could not be his fabulous self at work. It was slowly sucking the soul right out of him. He dreaded Monday mornings when he would have to leave his awesome fun weekend life and go back to work.
Dan really wanted to do body work, hang out with his peeps, play music and take pictures. He left his boring day job and got a job at a local healing practice. That was cool, but he was not really making enough money to live on. He worried about money all the time and whether he would have to go back to working in an office. He felt some pressure from his family around getting serious and getting a real job. On some level he bought into this idea and struggled with the desire to ‘be responsible’ versus doing meaningful work. He wanted to start building his own private clients list because he knew that that was where the money was, but he wasn’t sure he could pull it off. He dragged his feet around making business cards, and had all kinds of reasons not to go for it full force.
Then he decided to get a tattoo. This was not Dan’s first tattoo, but all the others were placed so that they could be easily hidden for work. He had always wanted to get something that wound up his forearm, but never did because he believed that it would prevent him from getting a job because he could not cover it up. For a long time he felt limited by this, and on this day he decided to say “Fuck It!”. The timing was right, and the inspiration was there, and he went ahead and got a beautiful vine spiraled up his forearm.
This tattoo was more than another beautiful adornment on a sexy guy. This was Dan’s way of throwing down the gauntlet and claiming the life that he wanted. Getting this tattoo was his way of saying “I am all in”. In his mind there was no going back.
It is not surprising that over the next year Dan’s list of private clients grew, and he had opportunities to make money doing all the things he loved. Last night we were talking about how kick-ass his life is right now. He has the freedom to do everything that he loves. His commitment paid off. He is living his dream! Rock on Dan!
I am curious if you have a gauntlet of your own to throw down?
