Surprise! Surprise!
By · CommentsHave you ever created something so AWESOME that you surprised yourself?
That’s exactly what my soul sister Kelle Sparta and I did when we created Unleash Yourself! This 30 day class is the perfect combination of our best practices, processes and super powers. It is the perfect reflection of who I am as a Life Activator and Kick-Ass Catalyst.
I feel that this image sums up what we do in Unleash Yourself!
Last month we ran the beta version of the class and 20 courageous ladies join us. We were all blown away by the results and the praise. Here is a sampling of the feedback we got:
“This has helped me already to make positive improvements in my clarity, confidence,
focus, joy, communication skills and boundaries, stress levels, and intuition.”
“It allowed me to uncover some beliefs I had become stuck in,
and refocus my attention to the positives in my life!”
“I’m a thousand times happier in my life”
“It saved me 40 years of therapy!”
“I feel really rock solid and love has filled me up like never before-
for myself, for life, for the experiences to come.”
I admit, it took awhile for all this praise to sink in, but I did my best to bask in the juicy goodness of it. One thing it did confirm for me was that the more fully I show up and be ME – the better able I am to serve other people. I’m feeling very bright and shiny right about now.
We just started enrolling for the next round of Unleash Yourself! which starts September 17th. If you are ready to set yourself free- Join us! Click here to learn more and sign up.
Now You Can’t Get a Real Job
By · Comments“You’re not going to be able to hide that. It’s right out there for the world to see.”
“You’ll never be able to get a real job again”
Phase one- the outline
These are some of my favorite reactions to my latest tattoo. It’s a big beautiful mermaid on my forearm.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my favorite tattoo artist- Charon Henning- getting my mermaid colored in. We talked about how people were shocked that I got such a big tattoo on my forearm where everyone can see it. Even friends who have tattoos – lots of tattoos – have said it was a bold move because I can’t hide it easily.
How many of you have found yourself thinking about getting a tattoo and worrying about what other people might think? You’re afraid they might judge you or get the wrong impression.
I’m going to tell you right now- you have no control over what people think about you. Their thoughts about you are based on their own inner experience. When it comes down to it, what they think about you really doesn’t matter.
What does matter is how you think about yourself. There is nothing worse for your soul than constantly limiting your self-expression because you’re trying to keep other people happy. It sends a big message to your soul saying – there is something wrong with you and you need to stay hidden.
You are here to be fully self-expressed!!! That is the point of life. To be YOU!!! Stop hiding your light. It feels crappy and leads to a life full of “if only” and “what ifs”. It’s much more satisfying to let your freak flag flag and be fully self expressed.
Get the tattoo, dye your hair purple or do whatever else feels like YOU. Let your light shine bright!
phase two- color
Hiding my mermaid never entered my mind when I thought about getting it. I can say the same thing for the rest of my tattoos. They are for me and about me; what other people think about them doesn’t matter.
Actually- that’s a lie. I LOVE when people notice my tattoo’s and compliment them, and I like to tell the stories of each one and what it means to me. This latest one represents the mermaid part of me. She likes to dive deep into the mermaid realms with you and talk about feelings, emotions, and your deepest desires for your life. She is fun, playful and mysterious all at the same time. She does whatever she wants to do too. *wink*
One last thing for those of you who are worried about not being able to get a real job…..ask yourself what is more important to you. Being YOU or conforming to someone else’s ideas of how you should look? There are plenty of work environments that would love to hire a confidant, self-expressed person who owns their gifts and knows they have something valuable to offer. Look for that kind of job and you will be much happier.
If you’re struggling with letting your light shine bright and you want to bring more You-ness out into the world, I can help! Send me an email to learn about the different ways we can work together.
This Sucky BIG Thing Called Judgment
By · CommentsI hear this over and over again.
I feel like I can’t say what I really want to say on Facebook because I’m worried about what my clients, family, friends will think.
Or
Now that I’m opening my own business, I feel I have to change the way I show up so people will want to work with me.
These statements all lead to the same place. YOU feeling like you can’t be yourself because someone else won’t like it. The truth is- you’re afraid that you will upset someone or be judged in some way if you let your true nature shine through.
I have news for you- You’re going to be judged no matter what you do. You will piss people off, offend and delight them all in the same breath. The thing that offends one person will be the very thing that someone else has been dying to hear. Who would you rather talk to?
You have no control over what other people think about you. NO CONTROL!!
Accepting this will make your life so much happier and your business way more successful.
You are beautiful, amazing and have so much to offer just the way you are. Matter of fact your gifts shine through stronger and brighter when you allow yourself to just BE YOU.
Sure some people won’t like it, but some will LOVE it. The people who love it are the people you want to be talking to. The thing is they will never be able to find you if you keep hiding out under the belief that you need to reign yourself in.
So- here are a few things to remember:
You can’t control what other people think of you.
You can control how you think of yourself. Stop making yourself wrong by being you. You are fabulous- own and let it shine through.
Stop making other people’s happiness more important than your own. When you don’t express yourself because you’re worried about what others might think, you are denying who you are. That feels crappy. In these moments, you are making someone else happiness more important than your own. Stop it!! It isn’t your job to make other people happy…….unless you’re a clown or something but that is a whole other story.
What other people think about you is none of your business. Seriously! You have no control over it so stop wasting your time and energy on it.
Say this with me now- I love you, I respect you, but I don’t give a fuck what you think about me!
Ok…go on out there, shine bright and be your awesome self!
P.S. If finding your voice and speaking your truth is a challenge for you and you want some loving support- check out Unleash Yourself! This 30 day class will have you confidently speaking your truth and expressing your desires.
Liberation or Fear
By · CommentsDo you ever feel like you need to reign yourself in so other people feel comfortable?
Or you worry about how other people are going to react so you don’t say what you think, dance across the room, or write the blog post you’re dying to share?
Perhaps you find yourself over analyzing everything to the point that you don’t actually get anything done?
All of these situations are signs that you are letting your fear limit your self-expression and it’s time to unleash yourself and let your freak flag fly!
Seriously, if you want to live a kick-ass life you need to move from fear based to LIBERATION based ways of relating. Stop wasting your time and energy worrying about what everyone else is going to think/feel and start focusing on what will help you move forward and expand into more YOU-ness.
I’m going to borrow these fabulous questions from Danielle LaPorte- she nailed them so perfectly.
Fear –driven questions-
What will they think of me? I better do what will make me look good.
What do they expect of me? I better give them what they want, when they want it.
What can I get from them? I better be clever to get what I want.
Something to notice about all of these questions is that they imply that there are conditions to you getting what you want. You need to look good, fit in, get it right and keep other people happy if you want things to go your way.
It doesn’t work that way. Other people are not responsible for your outcome; you are. Keep the power in your own hands. Your being true to yourself and letting your freak flag fly is the key to your living your life your way. Don’t let your fear what other people are going to think hold you back.
If you want to embrace this and really rock it out- I suggest basing your choices and actions on these Liberation driven questions- also from D.L.
Liberation-driven questions:
Is this moving me forward?
Do I feel more like myself?
Does this feel expansive or contracting?
How can I be generous here?
I’m really digging the concept of expansion and contraction. This is something I talk about a lot with clients. When something feels expansive, it’s an indication that you are in alignment and opening up to more of yourself. There is a forward motion and sense of unfolding to it. This is what you are looking for!
The feeling of contraction means you are limiting yourself- putting yourself into a box of sorts- and something is out of whack. When you feel this way it’s time to take a step back and determine what would feel better to you.
The more you unleash yourself – fly your freak flag- and bring more of YOU into the equation; The more kick-ass your life will be.
Where are you at with this?
Are you driven by fear or driven by the desire for liberation?
Is there one area of your life that you are more driven by fear than by liberation?
Lay it on me in the comments below.
Where the Desire for More Gets Sticky
By · Comments“Is there something wrong with me because I don’t feel satisfied with what I have?”
It’s not like your current life sucks, but it leaves you wondering if you’d be happier with something else. If only you had more connection with your partner, a more exciting sex life, more REAL friends who totally get you, more deep meaningful conversations, more speaking & living your truth, and more opportunities to express yourself creatively.
“Maybe I just don’t know how to be happy?”
What drives you to want more out of life?
There are a lot of reasons why we want more out of life. Our purpose is to grow and expand, while enjoying the ride along the way. The only way to do this is to push ourselves outside our comfort zone on a regular basis (everyday) and get really comfortable with change. Wanting more is part of this process.
Where it gets Sticky
It’s natural to want more, I want more all the time, but the problem is the notion that if you want more-there MUST be something WRONG with what you currently have. We think we need to make our lives- or ourselves- wrong and chuck what we have in order to have what we are looking for. The funny part is most of the time we have NO IDEA what the MORE we are seeking looks like.
I asked a client what drove her to want more in her life. Someone had commented to her that she seemed to be always challenging herself to do more and change things. She told me that she had spent parts of her life feeling slightly depressed because she didn’t feel inspired and passionate about what she was doing. She felt the drive to push herself to do more, be more, learn and find her place of alignment and connection. But this drive left her questioning her relationship and living situation.
She knew she wanted more- more meaningful connection with friends, intimacy, freedom in speaking and living her truth. She didn’t know what it specifically looked like or how to get it. She was feeling conflicted about giving up what she already had in order to find it.
Re-frame It
“Maybe you don’t need to give everything up in order to have the MORE you want?”
I invited her to reframe things- “My life rocks and it will be really cool to have these things too” and make some space for things to shift. I also encouraged her to “want more” from a place of appreciating what is already there. Rather than focusing on the lack, focus on all the growth and expansion that has/will happen.
“Appreciate all the connection, meaning, intimacy, and freedom to speak and live your truth you have in your life right now. Give it an opportunity to expand.”
One More Thing
We also talked about the tendency to look to other people to provide us with what we feel is missing and blaming them if we aren’t getting what we need.
If you’re not experiencing the intimacy that you desire- look to yourself for it first. You are always getting back a mirror reflection of what you’re putting out there. For example- if you’re not experiencing the intimacy you desire with your partner, where are you not open to it? Are you providing a safe environment for them to fully show up and be vulnerable? Or are you critical of them and focusing on what’s lacking? Try holding your partner in love and appreciation- praising and acknowledging all their efforts, growth and awesomeness- then see if there is room for more intimacy.
Stop making your desire for MORE = there must be something wrong with my life. You don’t need to ditch everything you’ve created in order to have more. Matter of fact, you will find what you’re looking for much faster when you do it from a place of appreciating all that you already have.
What do you want more of in your life?
Where is it already showing up?
What do you need to shift inside of yourself to be more fully able to receive it?
