Breaking the Box

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Oct
13

This Sucks! How do I make it better ?

Posted by: Leah | Comments (3)

Every subject is really two subjects: What you want and the absence of what you want.

Which one are you focusing on?

Most people find that it is easier to focus on whats absent, what is wrong and what needs to be fixed.

Why is that?

It seems easier to do because that is what you are used to doing.

It is your habit.

Just because it is your habit, does not mean it is the most effective way of creating a life that rocks.
It actually works against you.

By focusing on what is missing, you are giving lots of attention and energy to it. You are basically amplifying the energy of what you do not want and telling the Universe to give you more of it.

This is why when you focus on your problems they get bigger.

But,with a bit of effort, anyone can learn to shift their focus to what they want.

It is as simple as asking yourself "what would be better" when faced with an undesirable situation.

Or noticing what you appreciate about something.

This is especially powerful if you are currently experiencing something that sucks.

The best way to "make it better" is to make a list of everything you appreciate about the sucky situation/person/place/thing.

I know that this can be a bit of a stretch but go ahead and do it anyway.

You have to get the positive vibes flowing before anything good can happen.

Then focus on the solution.

Ask yourself how you want the situation to be.

"what would be better??"

This will not only shift your energy and  make you feel better in the moment, but it also creates space for something more desirable to show up.

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
Comments (3)

energy wave
The most powerful way to create change and to bring more JUICY GOODNESS into your life is to practice appreciation.

When you appreciate anything, you are sending a strong signal to the Universe saying:I want more of this please.

Appreciation is a simple thing, but it tends to get lost in our busy day…or gets pushed out the way by a tendency to focus on what we do not like and what is not working.

So, I have created Amplification Friday to encourage you to take a moment out of your day and think about all the yummy, sweet moments from your week.

Where did things feel good to you in your job, relationship, or creatively? IT can be something simple…like a beautiful tree you saw out your window, or a brief moment with someone on the street. Or you can talk about a great success that you had…or a personal breakthrough.

Once you identify the things you are appreciating, take few moments to really bask in the good feelings that they bring. By doing this you are amplifying the energy of them and sending a strong signal out into the Universe say "more of this Please!"

Writing them down for the world to see adds a bit of extra power to them. ( and it is also fun for everyone to see what other folks are writing…creates a big swirl of juicy goodness for everyone.)

If you like this…please share it !

Categories : Amplification Friday
Comments (3)
Sep
18

A Hedonist Adventure

Posted by: Leah | Comments (2)

How to bring more juicy goodness into your life.

Many of the people that I work with feel like their lives suck in one way or another.

* they can't stand their job
* feel overwhelmed in their business
* their relationship is stagnant,
*  they are just plain old bored and uninspired.

They are sick and tired of doing the same dull shit everyday.

They are tired of struggling to achieve the success that they know is out there…. somewhere…..waiting for them.
(they think it is)
They hope it is!

They are dying for some fun, meaning, and satisfaction in their lives.
Juicy Goodness! That’s what they want!

In order to get to the juicy goodness you need to start identifying what feels good to you  and what you want more of.

It is a big process of exploration. Curiosity is key!

I send my clients on a Hedonists Adventure. This adventure has two parts.
The first part is all about discovery.
Take note of all the things that are currently in your life that:
•    Feel good
•    Already work
•    You want more of
•    Makes you smile

The second part is all about exploration.

Go check out all the things that you think might interest you. Especially the things that you feel like you are not supposed to be interested in!  Read books, join groups, go new places, look on the web. Challenge yourself to push past your usual boundaries and take a peek into the world you were always curious about.
As you begin to explore these things, notice how it feels to you. If you get a big “Yes…I want more of this” go for it!  If you get “ No…not digging it so much” move on to something else. This adventure is all about discovering what feels good and increases your happiness.


This adventure is guaranteed to give you plenty of food for thought and to identify a few different things you might like to try on for size in your career and personal life.

How do your do that with out risking everything?

Most people are not in the position to quit their job and start all over. 
Life Experiments is the answer. Want to know more ??

Tune in to Defy the Box radio on Tuesday Sept 22 at 9 Pm and listen to Allan Bacon and I discuss how to try on different careers without quitting your day job.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
Comments (2)
Aug
20

Why All This Sex Talk ?

Posted by: Leah | Comments (0)

If you have been following Defy the Box radio, you will see that sex and sexuality is a big topic for discussion there right now.A few folks have been asking why I feel it is important to talk about this in the context of my business.

This is the basis of what I am hearing: "Isn't sexuality a bit personal??? You are not supposed to bring it into your business! It gives the wrong impression!"

This is exactly WHY I find it important to talk about sexuality.

In my mind, sex and sexuality are the one of the main areas where people are confined by their pre-packaged beliefs and stories around what is "right and wrong" and "good and bad". It is topic that can easily create low vibrational feelings of doubt, shame,fear and guilt. When the reality is, when I am fully accepting and embracing my sexuality, it leads to the most amazing feelings of joy,bliss and expansion that I have ever known. To me there is lots of personal power there.

I remember when I was about 8 years old. I was just begining to really discover my body and how good it could make me feel. My family was not religious, but I liked to go to church with my friend and sing during the service with her. I remember one sermon in particular that said that the feelings I was having in my body were evil and bad and I should not touch myself or even think about that. I could not believe what I was hearing ! It was confusing and scary. I did not want to be evil, but I also somehow knew in my heart that my natural feeling were OK. So I did not let that stop me from enjoying myself.

For many people, this is not the case. They begin to doubt themselves and their natural feelings and urges, and make themselves wrong for having them.In my mind, this is one of the worse things you can do. You are basically tuning out your inner-guidance system…or as I like to say..you are tuning out your Inner-Freak. You begin to ignore the part of you that knows what feels good to you, and what will bring you the most joy and bliss. This does not only apply to your sexuality, it applies to all areas of your life. Your Inner-Freak knows what makes you special and unique in all areas of your life. It is what makes you stand out from the crowd in all your brilliant juicy goodness. It is where your true magic and power lies. Once you begin to shut it out, you lose touch with it and it gets harder and harder to access.

I also find that when you are constantly ignoring your desires and making them wrong,weather we are talking about a sexual desire or a desire for something in your life, it makes you feel bad about yourself. Like there is some dirty little secret that must stay hidden no matter what the cost. This takes up so much energy that could be used for something else, like creating a life that ROCKS!

Let me assure you, that most people have something about themselves that they feel needs to stay hidden because it is so flawed that no one will want them after they see it. I am quit certain that if you feel good about it, then you will attract other folks who feel good about it too. if you feel bad and shameful about it, you will attract other folks who will make you feel bad and shameful about it too.

Its your world. You attract people and things into it based on your feelings and thoughts about things. If you fully embrace and feel good about who you are and what you desire, then you will attract people and things that reflect that back to you.

If you embrace and accept your Inner-Freak, you will find your true magic and power!

If you are curious to explore authentic sexuality, Join us on Tuesday night, 8/25, at 9 PM EST on Defy the Box radio. My guest is Kali from the Kink Academy and we will be discussing the importance of embracing all parts of your kinky bad-ass self. https://DefytheBox.com/defy-the-box-radio

Categories : breaking the box
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Jul
02

What do you trust:Your Head or Your Gut?

Posted by: Leah | Comments (0)

This morning I was reading the Fast Company daily e-zine. It is always full of interesting information. I came across this article Why Your Gut is More Ethical Than Your Brain and it got me thinking about how the Mind and the Gut works.

This is the way I look at it:
The minds job is to compare and contrast and organize information. It is a big processor of information. Our bodies are designed to be big receivers. All our sensory organs take in the vibration of what is around us, process that information and then your mind labels and identifies everything.Your mind runs everything through the filter of your past experiences. Your mind then organizes this information in a way that makes sense to you.

Our Gut/feelings are also responding to vibrational. Just in a different way. Our gut/feelings are a reflection of our vibrational alignment with our higher sense of knowing…the part of ourselves with the super big picture perspective. Some may call it your soul…or god..I like it call it my higher self. To me, the emotions and gut feeling make up my inner guidance system. Its job is to tell me when I am aligned with my higher self. If I feel good, I am aligned, if I feel bad I am not.

I trust my inner knowing/gut feelings way more than my mind when it comes right down to it.

Because the mind filters everything through your past experiences, and your beliefs and stories about those experiences, it is not offering the most accurate perspective on things. Your mind likes to justify your existing story. It is not necessarily dealing with what is, but rather with what the mind thinks is going on.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you go with your mind or you gut?

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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Jun
30

My Secret Weapon For Feeling Satisfied

Posted by: Leah | Comments (1)

Get ready, I am going to out myself here.

I recently found myself in the place of feeling dissatisfied with just about everything. Feeling like I am not doing enough, fast enough, to realize my vision for what I want to create. I was beginning to feel frustrated and a bit inadequate.

This is not an unfamiliar place for me. I lived firmly in this place for most of my 43 years. I was always dissatisfied and looking for ways to fix things, do them differently, and improve upon whatever was in front of me. I guess you could say I was driven and determined. I was always stressed out and frustrated. There was always something else to do. I was never done. I would get burnt out and found myself sick a lot of the time. My body was screaming at me to slow down and take a break from all the dissatisfaction and striving.

And I did get a break in the form of a severely sprained ankle and broken foot and was forced to take 6 weeks off from my job. This was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to catch up on my reading. I read two books by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love, and I started on my path of transformation.

I went to coaching school and did the Priestess Path Apprenticeship. I became a student of the Law of Attraction. I recognized that all my striving, frustration and stress was not going to get me where I wanted to be. It became very clear to me that spending so much of my time and energy focused on what was not working for me and what needed to be “fixed” was only getting me more dissatisfaction, stress and frustration. I learned to shift my focus to what was working, and what I wanted more of. When I was experiencing something that I did not want, I learned to ask myself “What would be better?” in order to use the contrast of what I did not want to my advantage.

It became very clear to me that I needed to embrace the practice of celebrating my accomplishments. I was good at seeing what I wanted to be different and doing what needed to be done to create that change, but I never took the time to appreciate what I had accomplished. I would just move right on into the next thing. I created a daily practice of celebrating my accomplishments and noticing what I loved about myself. This practice became my secret weapon. I began to feel deeply satisfied and proud of myself. My entire experience changed for the better and life got easier.

Because this shift was so powerful for me, I decided to anchor it into my being by participating in an intentional tattoo ceremony. I choose an image that represented to me the balance between hard work and celebration. The ceremony was beautiful. Many of my peeps were holding space for me and my intention for maintaining the practice of celebrating. They danced, sang, drummed and soothed me during the process. A powerful priest/ healer/tattoo artist infused the ink with the energy of my intention. Two and a half hours later the ceremony was finished and I had a beautiful new tattoo. Every time I look at it I remember the meaning behind it and the importance of celebrating my hard work. This tattoo became part of my secret weapon for satisfaction.

So, how could I find myself back in the familiar place of dissatisfaction and frustration?!?

I stopped celebrating my accomplishments. I was so busy focusing on what was not here yet; I did not see all that I have created.

Thank God my business coach gave me a smack down and straightened me out. Once I took a step back and took note of how far I have come and all the things I have created, I realized that I was rockin’ it out and just forgot to notice. ;-)

I will say that during the Summer Solstice gathering this past weekend I did make a point to reaffirm my intention to celebrate my accomplishments everyday and appreciate all that goodness that is around me.

I am happy to report that I am feeling on top of my game and deeply satisfied. The secret weapon is working once again.

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Categories : breaking the box
Comments (1)

This is a wonderful discussion around how other peoples rules become part of our lives from the get go, and how that conditions us to follow other peoples rules throughout our lives. We then explored different ways to determine if it is time for some new rules in your life, and if so, how do you go about determining what works for you.

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When the desire is born, right away you start counting yourselves a failure, because you've got this desire that hasn't been satisfied. Know that you never get it done! And since you never get it done, it's time to stop being unhappy about what's undone, because most of it is undone! You are an eternal being. Most of it is undone. Instead of taking score about what's been achieved — we want you to start feeling anticipation about what is still to arrive…
~From Abraham-Hicks

I like this.
Wanting something, or having a feeling of desire for something often leads you down the path of focusing on what is missing.
I know that I used to get caught up in the feeling of lack around what I wanted. I would have a desire for something different to show up in my life and then I would spend my time noticing how it was not there yet and trying to 'figure out' what I needed to do to make it show up.
When I started going deep into working with the Law of Attraction and Manifestation, I realized that by focusing on how things were not showing up yet, I was basically keeping what i wanted from coming into my experience.
It is all about the energy that I am embodying, and when I notice what is not showing up or is missing, and I focus attention there…even if I am tying to 'make it happen'…. I am really just noticing the lack and that is what I get more of. What you focus on expands into your reality.

This is where faith and trust in the process comes in. Now I operate from the place of knowing that the Universe is conspiring with me to bring me all that I desire. My job is to have the desire for something and feel the energy of it. Then sit back and enjoy the ride.