Archive for sucks
Trapped, Miserable and Bitchy
Posted by: | CommentsThis morning I was reading a post on the Freak Revolution blog and it really sounded familiar to me.
It reminded me of my own story.
About 8 years ago I was working in a restaurant and miserable. There are some differences between me and the “pie-fucker” that they are describing. I did not work at Chili’s and I did not suck at my job, but the misery was one and the same.
In my case, I worked at a high end steak house and was actually very good at my job, BUT I was miserable and pretty bitchy most of the time.
I felt trapped.
I wanted out but I had bills to pay. I was making 2 or 3 times as much money as I could as a new consular or therapist.
Besides, I did not really want to work mucking around in people’s problems. I knew that I wanted to do something along the lines of helping people, but I also was used to a certain standard of living. I felt stuck and did not see many options.
So, I sucked it up and stayed at the job I hated and bitched and moaned and complained about how awful it was.
I spent a lot of time looking for something to make me feel better. I went out for drinks most nights and partied a lot. When I was home alone, I always had the TV or the computer on…..sometimes both at the same time. I was trying to tune out that part of me that was crying out for something different. Deep down inside I knew that my life could be different….that this could not be it…..but I was not sure what exactly it was that I was looking for.
Strangely enough, I would catch a glimpse of it every now and then. I would come across a stranger who seemed “shiny” to me and they would have a special sparkle in their eyes. You could tell that their life did not suck.
All I knew was that I wanted some of what they had.
I had to break free of the miserable, meaningless life I was living. I got to the point where it was no longer ‘OK’ to remain at a job that I hated.
I wanted to like my job.
I wanted to enjoy my life and be inspired by it.
I decided to set off on a course of exploration and I did a bunch of thing I had never done. One of those things was to go to Burning Man. In a strange moment of displaced clarity I decide to follow my heart and become a life coach.
Was it scary?
YES!
Did I take a Risk?
You Bet!
I also doubted my choice a hundred times over, but in the end I am certain it was the best thing I ever did.
My life feels good to me now.
I am that ‘shiny’ person with the twinkle in her eye.
You know what?
I gets better and better every day.
What To Do When They Drive You F@%$ Crazy?
Posted by: | CommentsWe all have experienced this.
There is someone who you can’t stand and who drives you crazy in your personal or work life.
Every time you see them you bristle up and get aggravated. It is like they are purposefully trying to piss you off and you think they are totally full of shit. They do the same stupid stuff over and over again. You can’t believe that they act this way, and you feel powerless to change things.
These people come in many different disguises. Sometimes it is your boss or co-worker. Other times it hits close to home and is a family member…..maybe even your parents.
The thing they have in common is that they make part of your life suck, and you feel like you have to put up with it because of the place that they hold in your life. (This situation could be describing your job or relationship too.)
So, what do you do about it?
How can you make it better?
I am going to tell you but you might not like it.
The best way to make this situation better is to spend some time focusing your attention on what you appreciate and like about the person…or job….or relationship.
I know this may sound crazy and maybe even impossible since this person really has no redeeming qualities, but try it anyway and see what happens.
Sit down and make a list of everything that you feel that person is good at, and what you appreciate about them. Maybe they are a snappy dresser, they always have your favorite candy on their desk, or they are a fun drunk. Even if you are really stretching to find something, go ahead and make the effort to do it. The more positive aspects of this person, or situation, that you can find, the faster things will shift for you. You want to shift the energy by focusing on what feels good to you about this person or situation. Spend some time everyday focusing on this list of positive aspects to amplify the energy of it.
Next, take a step back and stop making them wrong for their behavior. If someone does the same ‘shit’ over and over again it is more likely that that is just the way they do things, and if you stopped viewing it as wrong, you would be able to find a way make it work. It is only “shit” because it is not the same way you do things.
Don’t you hate when someone makes you wrong for simply being you? I think it sucks when someone does it to me.
You know what…it is all good.
Everyone is different.
The better you get at going with the flow and the faster you learn to stop making people wrong, the easier life will be. The fastest way to life sucking less is to learn to see people as they are without making them wrong, and learning how to adapt to different peoples styles of interacting and relating. The only behavior that you can really change is your own. You have 100% control over it. So, why not learn to adjust how you respond to stuff?
Ok…I know that this idea might get you riled up. If you are really having trouble with it, send me an email or give me a call and I can talk you through it.
